Years ago, I remember getting excited about the month of March. I mean, it’s a month where the weather (usually) gets warmer, and smack dab in the middle of it is one of the best “Holidays” in the world. I used to actually have time to enjoy St Patricks Day. But now it seems that no matter what day it falls on, I have to be some where to do some thing, and before I know it the day is over and I find myself at the island in the kitchen with a pressurized can of Guiness and a sidebar of Jamesons. That sounds pretty good doesn’t it.

But that’s not why I don’t get excited about March anymore. March, as you know, has become the month in which kids are “evaluated” for upcoming spring sports. (I could pretty much end the blog right here and you’d all know what I mean). It’s amazing how early the crap starts. I think people started talking about where their kids were going to try out for hockey next year in January. So by the time we actually get to the month of March, I’m so done with it I feel like yelling YOUR KID SUCKS, just like mine and every other kid out there. Now GET OVER IT.

But that wouldn’t be fair, because it’s not really true.   Our kids are pretty good little athletes.   Put em against other towns and I like our chances.  Every time.   So it’s probably more appropriate to direct a rant at ourselves, the parents.    Afterall, we’re the ones (present company included) who make this process such a nightmare.   Like it or not, we’re all guilty of bitching about something during the process, or convincing ourselves  they should try out somewhere else for next season etc….   And you know why we do it?   Because we’re human.   We want what’s best for our kids, and sometimes that clouds the reality of what is actually best for our kids.

Wow, deep thoughts by the Commish, right?   Well, I thought I was going to lose it last night when a Dad called me for advice on how to deal with the fact that his kid was put into a lower group during tryouts.   But then I remembered how I called someone 4 years ago when my kid was a second year mite and I thought it was going to be the end of the world if he didn’t make the better team.  He was a MITE.   That’s when I realized last nights call was a case of what comes around, goes around, so I talked him in off the ledge, just as someone had done for me 48 months earlier.  And that’s the point.  Each season we’re all going to get to the point where we need to do some bitching.  Bitching is ok.  The thing we have to be careful of is when one of us gets out of control and falls into a Bitching Spiral that can’t be stopped.   (We all know one of these people).      When this happens, do one of two things.   1.  Address it with the person and get them out of the Bitching Spiral.   Or    2.  Notify the rest of us about their condition so we can avoid them.

Sound like a game plan?

Great.

Here’s a little Will Ferrell – Crazy Coach, taking you into the weekend.

Greetings Professor Falken.  Shall, we play, a game?    War Games – 1983.   Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy.

A Classic movie.   Joshua the computer, aka WOPR was going to kill us all, and David & Jennifer were frantically trying to save the U.S. from getting nuked, but everyone thought they were the bad guys!  I get goose bumps just thinking about it.  Actually I don’t.  But remember how hot Ally Sheedy was in that movie?  Was I the only who thought that?  Ok, that’s a little embarrassing.  Whatever.

Anyway, last Friday I had a little War Games of my own.  There was no Joshua or Professor Falken this time.  This round was The Commish vs Spam Bots around the world.  During lunch I added a plugin to the website that would allow me to set up the online store I’ve mentioned in the past.  (Plugin’s are like app’s, but they’re for websites.)  Seriously, how impressed are you guys with my computer lingo right now.  I mean, did you ever imagine that I’d not only be as cool as I am, but also one of the smartest people you know?    I digress.

After I activated the mentioned plugin, I started receiving emails from new users on the HBHL website.  It was clear they were spam because it would say “New User:  3_ert845ghy has requested permission to register on your website”.  I get these about twice a week so there was no cause for alarm, at first.   However, by 3pm I’d received about 75 emails.   Then by 4pm I’d received another 200.   And by 5pm I’d received over 500 emails from new users.  So I called Blue Host, and got a techy on the line.   “No problem EL Capitan, all you need to do is disable new account registrations from the website.  People can still register, but it will be done with your approval”    Great!  I went home, got on the computer and did what he said.  Then I was off to the Merrimack Hockey game with the kids.

Little did I know, the Bots were still attacking the website while I was at the game.  By the time I got out of the game, over 4000 “hits” had occurred and the HBHL was down for the count.  I called Blue Host again, this time in a complete panic.  “Hi, I have this website, and I called earlier, and your guy said do this, and so I did, and he said it would be fixed, but it’s not, and he said it would be, but it’s not, and it’s my first website, and I worked really hard on it, (Inhale)…  and I went on for another minute or so.  The kid who was helping me was probably hitting mute and laughing at what a tool I was being.  But I literally thought the site was down for good and I was going to have to rebuild it from scratch.   Not cool.

If you’re having trouble picturing what was going through my mind, watch this video:

Entertaining to all of you I’m sure.   And I’m glad that it is.
I’m also glad that Blue Host was able to fix the site.   I ended up spending over a half hour on the phone with them (most of it on hold) while they worked feverishly to get the site back up and running.  Basically, what happened was these “Bots” used the plugin to access my domain.  From there they would link my site to other sites that were totally unrelated, and when someone tried to open the HBHL site, a number of other sites would also try to open and it would basically shut down.   It’s kind of like when you guys surf (hockey) porn and window’s keep opening that prevent you from seeing whatever it is that you’re actually trying to see.   I don’t surf (hockey) porn so I’ve never experienced this myself, but I’ve heard you talk about it in the locker room.  (You guys are sick)

Now, you see how terrible that explanation was? I’m not so smart after all.