All posts by EL Capitan

For most hockey players, the offseason is a sad time of year.

Not for me of course, but I know some of the Badgers would prefer to play year round.

Well here’s something for all of us to be happy about.

Last week I got a text from #24 with the following picture attached.


Yes, that’s our home rink.  The Lawrence Valley Forum.

Notice there is no plywood.

Notice there is a spot to put your water bottle.

Those are new boards.

Notice there is a new bench.  A new door.  New Glass.   New Ice.   New Paint under the ice.

The Badgers officially have a new home.  Or, the same old home, but it’s been gutted and updated.

Can you imagine?  Once the Valley League saw our level of play, they knew it was time to upgrade the place.

Thank you Valley League.

Thank you, #24.

Check out the timelapse video below.
Pretty awesome.

TBone, you just won the cup!

What are you going to do next?

“I think I’ll leave a bunch of my equipment and clothing on the floor of the locker room and I’ll take someone’s righty stick (instead of my own lefty stick) as I exit the building to go have a beer.”


That’s what the pros do I guess so makes sense for a Honey Badger Cup Champion too.  Right?

Anyway, season number five is officially in the books.  This year the playoffs went the full distance with the Champions being crowned on the last day of the season.

The first two games of the series were neck and neck, with Red coming into game three with a 1 goal differential lead.  Unfortunately, game three didn’t live up to the potential hype and Red pulled away in the second half to secure the win.

#18, its official, you are the MVP of the playoffs this year.  Just a ridiculous performance in the final game.

I cant thank everyone enough for the great year.  The Badgers are a brotherhood, and that includes our long list of Subs.

Special thanks to our goalies, Stone Wall Faulkner and Mad Mike Luciano, and to our fearless leader in stripes Derek Camarota.

Can’t wait to do it again next year.

Until then – Be Safe & Stay Thirsty my fellow Badgers.

EL Capitan

A few years ago I crashed hard on my mountain bike.  My right arm slammed down on a rock and I remember the pain being awful.  Beyond awful.  I had never felt such pain.  I was deep in the woods and had to ride out on a fire road.   By the time I got home (15 minutes) I was white as a ghost and basically on the verge of crying like a baby.   I went to the Lawrence General ER and when I checked in and was asked to describe my pain level on a scale of 1- 10.    I said ELEVEN.

I remember the woman looking at me like I was a big wuss.

I thought to myself, she can’t look at me like that!  She has no idea how hurt I am!  I’m the Commish!  I’m one of the toughest guys she’ll ever meet!

Turns out, she was right.  I was a huge wuss.

I had a fracture in my wrist and a spider fracture in my thumb.

That’s it.

No broken bones. No torn muscles or ligaments.  Nothing else.

And it hurt so bad that I was on oxycodone for 2 days.  Pathetic.

So the time has come for the Commish to acknowledge that his days of being a Tough Guy are long gone.
And with this acknowledgement, I’m also proud to introduce you to the new face of Tough Guys.

Mikey DiCenzo

He’s barely a teenager.  And he is the new Ambassador of Toughness.

Last night he did this to his arm during hockey practice.


Know what his reaction was?

“(Curse word), I just broke my arm!”

He was later seen in the lobby of the rinks at PA, showing no signs of pain, and instead looking like he was annoyed at the fact he had to leave practice and go to the Lawrence Hospital ER.

(Yes, the same one I went to a few years ago where I cried like a baby over an injury that Mikey would compare to breaking a finger nail)

Here’s a picture of him, already on the road to recovery.


You can see that he’s trying to think of a way to fit his cast into a hockey glove.

“Come on Dad, playoffs are coming!”

Below is a video that shows Mikey vs The Commish in a battle.  I’m the one on the right, wearing a cape and holding a sword.

Well Mikey, just as the video shows, you have officially taken the Tough Guy sword from me.

Carry it well and continue to make us proud.

You Tough Guy.

Last Thursday, The Commish found himself running a bit late for the game.   (The Commish hates being late)

Anyway, I arrived at the rink around 9:10pm, put down the pucks, swung open the door to Locker Room #1 and saw lots of Badgers getting ready. (always a good sign)

One of the Badgers that was getting ready was talking to Paul Giggey.

Giggs was in the spot he usually sits in, but the “Other Badger” was not.

“Other Badger” was in The Commishes spot. (never a good sign)

Enter The Commishes Brain for the next few moments – Whoa, this is weird, but go with it.  You don’t need to sit in any particular spot.  He means no disrespect, just find another spot to sit.  Be Cool.  Be like Fonzie.  Be Cool.

Giggs recognized the wrong doing, and even suggested to “Other Badger” that it might be a good idea to shuffle down.  (there was no effort to vacate my spot)

So I joked about it and sat where The Young Guns (Pierce and Drew) sit, (they were out last week, otherwise I would never take their spots).

I even joked that by sitting in their spot, some of their hockey excellence might rub off on me. (I did score, which is not a regular occurrence, as you all know).

See that, I was cool like Fonzie and it all worked out for the best.


What’s that?  How did it work out for “Other Badger” who sat in The Commishes spot?

Turns out, he was like Fonzie too.    Check out his thumb.


Yep, “Other Badger” was Andy Weiner.

He broke his thumb during the first 10 minutes of the game when he tried to poke check Golden Hands Beamer.

Some call it Karma.  Some call it locker room etiquette.

Some just call it common sense.

Andy’s got time to decide what he calls it during his time on the DL over winter break.

On the positive side, Andy should be recognized for the following:

1st – When he broke his thumb, he left the ice, changed into his clothes and came back to the bench with a Bud Light.

2nd – Despite the fact that his thumb looked like someone had attached an M-80 to it, lit it, and it exploded, he endured the pain without even a thought of going to the hospital. (It apparently bled until 3am)

3rd – Only after enduring the pain for a day, did he decide to have it looked at.  And that’s when he was informed that it was broken.

Andy Weiner – An exemplary Honey Badger.

Broke his thumb, and it wouldn’t stop bleeding.

Think he gave a shit?


So last week after our game, we’re out in the parking lot and our newest Honey Badger – John Beaver, says to me: “So Commish, what’s your win percentage anyway”

He was eluding to how often I win (vs how often he loses) and while I know he was kidding, have you ever seen a bigger set of BALLS on a BEAVER?

I mean, you can think it, but you can’t just ask it!

A smart Honey Badger (and there are many of you out there) would just keep his lip zipped and realize that The Commish probably wins alot because not only does he skate hard, but the guys on his team in any particular week also skate hard.   But even if you don’t see something as obvious as this, haven’t you ever seen the Sopronos?

It’s kind of like The Commish is Tony Soprono and you’re my crew.   If I tell a joke, you laugh.

But don’t laugh too hard.

Since The Commish is a lot like Tony Soprono, he’ll also figure out if you’re just being a kiss ass.

And The Commish doesn’t like Ass Kissers.

So while I commend you on the size of your BALLS, BEAVER, smarten up.

You’re a Honey Badger now.  Be a smart one.  (and try skating a little harder huh?)

It took 5 years, but the store is finally open!  (Under the “SWEET MERCH” tab)

Check out the line-up of hats and stickers, and there will be more to come.

Just don’t make me feel like these losers…

Happy Shopping, my fellow Badgers.

I know the world is a bit crazy now a days with the election coming up, and cops killing people that have their hands up, etc…

Sometimes it’s tough to stay calm, focused and in control.

Of course this is not usually an issue for The Commish.  But then there are mornings like today.   I got to the parking garage in Boston nice and early and was ready to hit the gym (think big weights, massive squats, bench pressing multiple plates) to find that I left my pants and shirt at home in Andover.  So I got to commute twice today, which was reeeeeaaaally fun.

And if you keep up on my posts you know that I’ve done this before.  I did the same thing a couple of years ago, but only forgot my pants that time.   Then I forgot an appointment another time (remember the Nuns I passed on the highway?).  The sad thing is, these episodes probably have nothing to do with anything except the aging process.

Nevertheless, The Commish is able to keep calm, focused and in control.


Because every now and then I receive a glimpse into the future.  See the example below.

Below is a letter I received at the end of last season, from two of our fellow Badgers.  It came with the gift that you also see below.   Many of you have noticed and commented on what a great item the puck ramp is, and I’ve told you it was a gift from #88 and #99.




That’s right, a hand written note and a gift were dropped off on my front porch last April, from #88 and #99.   (That would be Mike Pierce and Kevin Drew)   Both of which I believe were 25 years old at the time and are now a whopping 26 years old.

Do you remember doing things like this when you were that age?  (The Commish was not)

Many of you have done something similar (minus the hand written note) and it’s been equally appreciated.

But this was awesome.  And when something like this happens, it should not and cannot go unrecognized.

Thank you boys.  And I have to say, the pleasure is alllllllllll on this side of the table.

And for the rest of you, you’re welcome.

You can now stay calm, focused and in control, knowing that our Future is Bright due to youthful individuals like Mike Pierce and Kevin Drew.


Wait, what did I just say?


I hope everyone’s having a kick ass summer.

Knock on wood, this has been a great summer for the Commish, and it all began with a nice little fishing trip, courtesy of Mr. Kraft.


Yes, that was a fishing hook through the left index finger of #9, Garrett Berube; aka “Mr. Kraft”; aka “Krafty”; aka “Captain Kraft”.

And yes, that was #10, Brian Kobeslki; aka “Big Red”; aka “Gun Show”, who used a pair of makeshift snippers to break the stainless steel barb from the hook, which allowed Captain Kraft to slide it out of his finger.

Prior to this happening, we were on our way back to the cape so we could get him to a hospital.

However, our fearless leader had different ideas, as you can hear 2:08 into the video.  So we did what we were told and began catching some serious slobs.

Our Captain, all bandaged up.




More slobs

The Crew



Ok so maybe I haven’t updated the Cup in a long time, and I’ve said it’s because I’m super busy, which none of you really believe.

So I guess I’ll come clean.  I’ve enjoyed having it sit on my desk.

It has really brightened up my day and brought pizzazz to my normal routine.
What’s the Commish’ normal Routine you ask?

Well it’s really nothing fancy.  Probably the same as any other person in sales.

1. Drink Red Bull out of Ron Burgundy coffee cup  (Not coffee.  Coffee is for Closers… And even when a deal is closed, the Commish will still choose something other than coffee.)

2. Watch Glengarry Glen Ross video on YouTube.

But as I said, it’s now updated and available for it’s Summer Tour.

Given the fact that I didn’t update it last year, anyone who won this year OR last year is welcome to take it for a few days and get some pictures for the website.

Shoot me an email and I’ll get it to you.

Let the summer begin!




Well, The Badgers still know how to end a hockey season, and last night was the conclusion of Season #4.

Last night was also the first annual –“Throwback Thursday” aka “Nate Beams Night” aka “Bauer Turbo Blowout” – and it was an excellent time.

There were old sticks, old pads, old skates, an old high school hockey coat and of course plenty of old guys.

Stone Wall Faulkner, fresh off a plane from the motherland (Ireland), came to the rink with the intentions of letting everyone on earth know why he has the nickname that he does.

Good Lord, Stonewall.  To say you played out of your mind last night would not be an overstatement.

The Commish took to the ice with his molded plastic, Bauer Turbo’s.

They looked great.

They felt great. (no)

And they turned on a dime.

Well, they turned on a dime a couple times.  And then about 5 minutes into the game, they decided that turning wasn’t their best attribute.

Ever see a skate explode?  You have if you were at the game last night.

Both of them at the same time.


You’re not supposed to be able to see the black booty, that you’re seeing.


It is supposed to be covered by that sleek gray and black plastic.



Good times, and thanks to LiveBarn, we’ll be downloading the clip for everyone to enjoy.

Thanks once again for a great season, boys.

At the heart and soul of the HBHL is a great group of guys.

Thanks to all the full-timers and subs who made it such a blast.

And special thanks to:

Mad Mike Luciano

Steven “Stripper Pole” Croll

Eric S”tone Wall” Faulkner

And last but not least, our Main Man in Stripes – Derek Camarota.

Without you guys, our games and our season wouldn’t be the same.