A few years ago I crashed hard on my mountain bike. My right arm slammed down on a rock and I remember the pain being awful. Beyond awful. I had never felt such pain. I was deep in the woods and had to ride out on a fire road. By the time I got home (15 minutes) I was white as a ghost and basically on the verge of crying like a baby. I went to the Lawrence General ER and when I checked in and was asked to describe my pain level on a scale of 1- 10. I said ELEVEN.
I remember the woman looking at me like I was a big wuss.
I thought to myself, she can’t look at me like that! She has no idea how hurt I am! I’m the Commish! I’m one of the toughest guys she’ll ever meet!
Turns out, she was right. I was a huge wuss.
I had a fracture in my wrist and a spider fracture in my thumb.
No broken bones. No torn muscles or ligaments. Nothing else.
And it hurt so bad that I was on oxycodone for 2 days. Pathetic.
So the time has come for the Commish to acknowledge that his days of being a Tough Guy are long gone.
And with this acknowledgement, I’m also proud to introduce you to the new face of Tough Guys.
He’s barely a teenager. And he is the new Ambassador of Toughness.
Last night he did this to his arm during hockey practice.
Know what his reaction was?
“(Curse word), I just broke my arm!”
He was later seen in the lobby of the rinks at PA, showing no signs of pain, and instead looking like he was annoyed at the fact he had to leave practice and go to the Lawrence Hospital ER.
(Yes, the same one I went to a few years ago where I cried like a baby over an injury that Mikey would compare to breaking a finger nail)
Here’s a picture of him, already on the road to recovery.
You can see that he’s trying to think of a way to fit his cast into a hockey glove.
“Come on Dad, playoffs are coming!”
Below is a video that shows Mikey vs The Commish in a battle. I’m the one on the right, wearing a cape and holding a sword.
Well Mikey, just as the video shows, you have officially taken the Tough Guy sword from me.
Carry it well and continue to make us proud.
You Tough Guy.