All posts for the month January, 2014

“Where the hell have you been, soldier?”


It’s hard to imagine that it’s been over 4 months since we all gathered in locker room #1 for the first game of the season.    We all sat around and caught up after an enjoyable summer away from the rinks.   I remember the conversation like it was yesterday:

Bucci- “My name’s Steve Bucci.  But everyone calls me Psycho.   Any of you guys call me Steve….and I’ll kill ya”.

Tavenner- “Ooooohhhhh (making voodoo sign with fingers)

Bucci- “You just made the list, Buddy”

Kobelski- “I went to this Doctor, and well he told me  I swallow a lot of aggression….Along with a lot of PIZZAS, HA!”  (elbows EL Capitan, breaking 4 of his ribs)

Ahh, the good times just seem to roll with the Badgers, but where was I.  Oh yes, training.  Do the Badgers train?  You could say that.  On their own?  Hell yeah.   It’s called low profile training.   Our goal is to not have a heart attack while playing hockey, and to maintain a healthy tolerance for things that are otherwise considered toxins for the human body.  And you guessed it, we excel at low profile training.  And since we do, we may as well put it to good use.

Did smoeone say ROAD TRIP?   Six of the OB’s (Gun Show, EL Toro, T-Bone, Dew Rag, Mr. Kraft & The MVP) are heading up to Meredith NH for the PHC (Pond Hockey Classic).  I love their website, check out the countdown clock for the start of the tournament. “3 Days, 23 Hours, 19 Minutes”.    I need to put one of those clocks on the HBHL website.    This is the 14th year of the New England PHC, and it’s the first year there will be a Honey Badger Team.  Next year, I expect we will have at least 2 teams.    And the following year, I expect to see all of the full time Badgers on a team up there.   We’d burn the place down.  (Figuratively speaking.  It’s not possible to burn down a place that is built on ice.  Melt a place down?)  Anyway, someone make a note that we’ll need to get Lisa a job up there for that weekend.

I’m not sure if the tournament can be monitored online during the weekend.  I’m guessing it’s something that could easily be done, but probably isn’t.    In either case, if I find enough time between games, beer tents, steaks on the grill, Bloody Mary’s, RBV’s, Streaking, and all the other things we’ll be doing, I’ll send an update to everyone.    The “Andover OB’s” will no doubt be successful in some shape or form, especially after our 4+ months of low profile training.

Check out the PHC website and mark your calendars for this time next year.   And when I send out the email telling everyone to sign up (like I did this year), do it quickly.   This is the one tournament that sells out every year.

“So am I to understand that you men completed your training on your own?”


“These are exactly the kind of go getters I want working on my EM 50 project in Italy”

That’s right.  The Honey Badger Hockey League has an Annual Report.  Audited by…  no one. (Because, well, we don’t give a shit.  Naturally.)    Seriously though, do you expect any less from the Commish?  The stats don’t lie, we’re pretty much on our way to becoming the next NHL.   And I only added this “stat counter” thing a couple of months ago.    Imagine what our numbers would look like if we had it from the get go.

Most companies would kill to have an anuual report that looks like this (not really).  But they never will.   The magic of the HBHL is that traditional theories and practices just don’t apply.  Companies work their asses off to have an impressive Annual Report at year end.   Why?  Because impressing shareholders is no easy task.  But lets be real, it’s a lot easier than impressing Honey Badgers.   Or is it….     Organizations ask their employees to work harder, for less.  They try to be innovative and integrate fancy techniques that will give them an edge.   But they just can’t seem to match the elite status of the HBHL.    Kind of amazing, since we utilize the exact opposite approach.   Not even TPS reports can help them.    All I can say is, watch out 2014.

Check it out:

Kind of explains why things like this happen: