All posts for the month October, 2013

You would think the No Re-Entry rule would apply at a place like the Boston Garden.  Sure, why not?  Bruins fans come to see the game, and then they leave after it’s over.  People don’t need to be leaving the building in between periods and then trying to come back in.  Forgettttt Abouuuuut It!  You know how many employees it would take to allow that to happen?  There’s all these different doors to park people at, and the stairways, etc…   No Can Do.
So I can see how a place like the Lawrence Valley Forum would implement the same rules.   When you think about it, the two facilities are nearly identical in every aspect.

Each of them have: One sheet of ice.  Seats for spectators. Locker rooms.  A scoreboard. Ample parking for players AND spectators.  A Pro Shop. Food stands (or vending machines).  Um, what else… Lights.  A roof.  A Zamboni (I know, the Garden uses two zamboni’s.  Big Whoop.)  Multiple doors to enter and exit the building.  And, Oh yeah,  a zamboni driver!  See?  Pretty much the same.

So a funny thing happened last night.  I was the scoreboard operator, as most of you know.  I couldn’t skate so I got a nice cold Budweiser Light (think Harry Caray) and propped myself down inbetween the benches.  Let the heckling begin.  I got through about 7 minutes of the skate and realized I had to go outside to send a text.  (One difference btwn the Garden and The LVF is the cell reception is basically non existent.  It’s kind of like a giant prison cell.)   No problem.   I’ll just go out for a quick second, send my text, and then come back to my frosty cold delicious beverage and watch the Badgers have at it.

Enter, The “No Re-entry” Rule.

I exited the building and was officially locked out.

Tried knocking on the door…  Nothing.

Tried kicking the door…  Nothing.

Wasn’t getting any love from Kevin, aka “Rink Guy”.

I tried yelling to him from the side of the building where there’s a vent of some sort.  Thinking he might be in the room the vent leads to.


So I stood there for about 15 minutes.  Knocking and yelling.  And staring.  (looked like you guys were having a good time)  And then I realized “Why the hell do I even want to go back in there?”  It was kind of a moment.   The “Dude, you must have something better to do with your time” type of moment.   A “Go home and stop acting like a loser” moment.

And so I did.  But not before taking these spectacular pictures of the Badgers in action.

HB score keeper

HB score keeper2

Sorry again about only one goalie.

One-Goalie games SUCK.

Special thanks to Steve “The Man” Moore.

Have a good weekend Badgers, and Stay Thirsty.

Personally, it’s all done in the locker room.  One leg up on the bench to stretch the hammie.  Then the other leg up to stretch the hammie.  Annnnnd, Done.

btw, Strong showing at the clubhouse last night boys.

For anyone who missed Faulkners warm up last night, there is a similar video below.  Kind of unorthadoxed but what the hell, it seemed to work pretty good. The ole boy must’ve turned away 30 shots in the second half alone.  Kind of had to stop all those shots because the Gray team didn’t seem to be in the mood for back checking.  Think I care?  I was on the Gray team.

Did I mention the strong strong showing at the clubhouse last night?

There’s been some talk of a Honey Badger Christmas Party this year.  Sounds like a great idea and I’m sure it would be a blast.  If anyone wants to run with it, feel free.  Heard the Golden Banana is a great place to host these events.  Oh, did we want our wives to come?  Cabaret then.  They host a wicked amateur night.

These are jokes!  Like I said, it would be a sick time.

Have a great weekend Badgers.

A lot of you have been asking how I was able to put the HBHL Trophy in the pictures you see online, and it should be known that Howard “the Slot Boss” Brezner is 100% responsible.    Any of the pictures you’ve seen posted that have the Cup photoshopped, are a creation done by our BrezDogg.  Excellent work Brez.

But that’s not all you need to know about our picture creator.  Did you realize that The BrezDogg has the same initials as our beloved mascot?  Howard Brezner – Honey Badger.    How bout them apples.

It doesn’t end there.

And I suggest you sit down for this one.  About 4 years ago, I was in the warm room that overlooks Harrison Rink at PA.  I was talking to Howard and he starts to tell me he plays hockey in a mens league for novices.   I forget the name of the bush league, something like “Shitty Skates”, or “Smelly Blades”, or “Great concept but run by a Dink, League”.  ANYWAY, I tell Howard that I’ve always wanted to play, and he convinces me to try it.  I played a couple games, fell in love with it, and the rest is history.

The point is, (for those of you who are extremely slow, and that number is usually pretty high on Friday mornings) If Howard Brezner never started playing hockey, we never would have had that conversation.  If that conversation doesn’t take place, I’m 99% sure I wouldn’t be playing hockey.  If I’m not playing hockey, the HBHL never would have been established.  No Joke.

So next time Howard is letting you know who’s boss when you’re in front of the net (you know, a friendly tap on the back of the legs with his stick, or a gentle push on your shoulders from behind) give him a hug.  Not the type of hug Previte almost gave him.  A real hug.  Or at least a solid Thanks.

Giving credit where Credit is Due.   That’s the Honey Badger way.

Stay Thirsty, my fellow Badgers.


Finally.  The HBHL went back to some resemblance of normalcy last night.  At long last.  Great game on both ends of the ice by
Stone Wall Faulkner and Rich the Puck Stopper Chenell.  The long arm of the law (Derek) did an outstanding job of keeping peace in Badger Land, and it was good to see a strong showing at the Clubhouse.  Of course, I wasn’t going to the clubhouse, so how would I know that.   Well, it seems my trusty 4 door sedan goes into auto-pilot after our games.  Left out of the rink lot, straight up 28, left onto any of the streets after town hall, and another left which leads to the Clubhouse.  I had full intentions of going straight home.  I think I was driving behind Casey, and Giggs.   Got all the way to the set of lights just before The Andover Inn.   Then all of a sudden my car turned into Kitt.  “Michael, I’m taking you to the Clubhouse for some re-hydration”  What?  My name isn’t Michael!  “You need to Hydrate, and Lisa will be very angry if you don’t visit her so she can monitor your vitals”.   Anyway, good time, as always boys.

Here’s the scary thing.  I searched for a video on Youtube and you wouldn’t believe the number of losers in the world that have actually created a “Kitt” car.  I actually had trouble finding a video from the damn show.  WOW.